Letting Go of My Dream...For Now

The dust has finally settled from all that was Chicago.  I am back into my normal work and workout routine for the most part, I've caught up on sleep (well as much as one can with owning a gym and having two small children, hehe), and I am starting to feel [somewhat] human again.  And though I missed my goal, yet again, I am handling it all rather well if I do say so myself and am ready to move on.

Speaking of moving on, I am now left with some big decisions for the next several months to a year or so.  Having come up short on my three previous attempts to BQ, I knew heading into Chicago it was a real possibility I would have to look to other races to try yet again.  Of course I had hoped that wouldn't be the case, but (un)fortunately it was something I was already prepared for.  So here I am, again trying to figure out when, where and how to BQ.

But this last week and a half really had me thinking about my whole journey to BQ, how close I have come, how far I have missed it by, how badly I've wanted it, and how much I've wanted to quit at times.  I mean, I'm obviously not going to completely give up on it, I know it can and will happen one of these days.  After all, I have come pretty damn close twice.  But for the past three years, I've pretty much focused all of my running attention and energy on this one goal and to be honest, it's kind of sucked the fun out of it.  In my quest to BQ I've declined exciting opportunities, put some other goals on the back burner and have to admit, have lost a little bit of myself in the process.

So I think it's time to let goal of my goal for just a little while and get back to having some fun and finding new ways to challenge myself.  Running always has and always will be there for me and like I said, I will not give up on my ultimate goal.  But here are a few goals I have in mind for the next several months.

Run For The Bling
I've never been one to run a race simply for a medal.  Although it is definitely fun to get to hang another medal up above my treadmill, I typically choose my races based on what works best with my overall schedule.  I ain't as young as I used to be, so I've tried to be a little smarter about how often I race.  But in a couple of weeks, I'm going to contradict all that and run the Space Coast Marathon...just 7 weeks after I ran Chicago!  And why you might ask, because I want not just the 45th anniversary medal they're handing out this year but also the Big Bang medal I will get for running it three years in a row.  This race has always been a rough one for me, from injury to illness, so those medals will be my proof that I refuse to let that course defeat me.  After that, I may finally stop running the race I keep swearing I will never run again each year I do it!

Pace More
I had the honor and privilege to become an official race pacer this past Spring and it was all that I had hoped and dreamed of!  I also had the opportunity to unofficially pace a couple of friends through some races and that was such an amazing experience too.  From the first timers to the PR-hopefuls to those just wanting to have a good solid race, pacing is such an incredible opportunity to help such a wide variety of runners in their running journey!  I look forward to the opportunity of pacing much more events and friends this year!

Ultra-Awesome
After I ran my first marathon in 2010, I remember thinking, ok what's next? LOL  Of course having two kids in fourteen month's time temporarily derailed my distance running and then when I did get back into it, I became so focused on the BQ.  But I think it's about time I find out what's next and check an ultra off my bucket list.  Florida offers so many great trail races and I have my eye on a 50k early next year.  If not then, definitely by the end of 2017 I will finally get to call myself and ultra runner.

Swim Bike Run
My journey with endurance sports actually began with triathlons, long before I got into distance running.  I remember doing my first sprint tri when I was like maybe 23 years old and being absolutely hooked.  I couldn't wait to do more and even longer distances.  But when I decided to run my first marathon several years later, triathlons became less of a priority and soon biking and swimming became non-existent in my training.  When I got hurt this past Fall, the only thing I was able to do for over a month was swim and it totally rekindled my love for multi sport.  I did my first tri in almost 8 years this past summer, right before I began marathon training, and fell back in love.  I hated having to sale back on my swimming and biking the deeper I got into marathon training, but now that it is over, I look forward to getting back to it again.  Maybe an Olympic distance or even a 70.3 are in my future!

Convince My Husband to Run a Race
Let's be 100% clear here, my husband does not actually LIKE running.  At all.  He's always seen it as punishment and only does it as "cardio." (And probably to get me to stop nagging him)  But over the past several months, he has been pretty consistent with it and has even seen quite a bit of an improvement.  I almost had him convinced to run a half this past Spring, but he changed his mind and has rejected any mention of it since.  I do feel like I may be able to warm him back up to the idea this coming Spring.  And though he may hate every minute of it and never do another, it would mean so much to me to get to share something I enjoy so much with him and cross a finish line hand in hand.

Oh Yeah, and Maybe Try to BQ
Just because it is not my all-consuming focus, it is still my dream and it will not die that easily.  I am considering a couple of races early next year and/or maybe one in the Fall, that will still give me a chance to register for the 2018 Boston Marathon if I can make it happen. I recognize that I'm going to have to make some adjustments to my training and redirect my focus back to marathons, if and when I decide to give it another go.  But for now, I'm all about having some fun and finding new ways to challenge myself so that BQ may just have to wait.